I awoke in the middle of the night, wringing wet with sweat, a cold shivering sweat.
My heart was pounding in my ears, feeling as if it would explode in my chest.
I couldn’t breathe, I felt as if an elephant was sitting on me - my throat was tight, constricted.
“Heart Attack” rushed along the thought waves of my mind. “Get control, get control, get help, get help!” called out in my brain.
I found myself in my car headed to the emergency room, fearful I wouldn’t make it when the symptoms started to subside - I went anyway.
This happened about a week after the jury fiasco, when the initial shock had worn off and I was struggling with the absolute fear of starting life over again.
Now on top of it all, my health, the last thing I had left was the issue. I had no health insurance, all my money was tied up in a 3 year court fight against someone with bigger pockets - after all, they had stolen my source of income.
My entire future was wrapped up in that court battle, and thinking there was anything sacred about right vs. wrong.
After my examination and speaking with me, the Doctor on duty told me I had experienced a panic attack.
He prescribed some Xanax and sent me on my way, telling me it was nothing serious, basically further crippling me emotionally by making me think I was a nutcase - for I knew deep inside there was something drastically wrong.
And thus it began, the next 3 years filled with many nights of cold sweats, many nights of sickness to my stomach, many days of agony and self doubt and much research into my situation and a trial and error method of seeking relief and conquering the panic attacks that were literally ruining my life. You see, I had always been successful. I had always been an extroverted person, a life of the party type of individual. Many friends, a socializer that loved being around people.
Over the next 3 years this would change dramatically as I became more and more reclusive and solitary. Depressed over my situation, afraid to be in public for fear a panic attack would strike at any time and further embarrass me….a life of hell for 3 years while the search for my cure began.
To Be Continued,
PS: If you need help RIGHT NOW, click here and STOP your panic attacks!